it's all about YOU

'Once in a blue Koon' (part II) + [add-on]

Friday, April 25, 2008

So the conversation continues..

K: You know, I think the youth needs good leaders, mentors. Now it's not common to have a mentor, but it will be good to seek counsel from church elders, pastors, because they have went through a lot more in life and are able to help you.

D: oh ya, I never thought of that.. It is a good idea, is it because the teenagers nowadays more troubled?

K: Troubled? Not really, the issues they faced now are similar to my days, it all depends on how you approach these issues: Influence of friends, the media, internet.. and how you treat your leaders.

The teens like to blog now, putting all their feelings and experiences for the public to read. But besides this, they can actually can channel their feelings to God, to talk to God about anything. To God, it's ok; but when you write about it in your blog, people may get a wrong impression about you.

D: Teens like to blog, why ar?

K: As a means of expressing themselves. Some of the teens will think that they don't have an outlet to express themselves, but they can actually talk to God =)

D: Ya, agree, reception is good and talktime is free, plus birthday bonus & daily blessings, heh heh. Ok, change topic. What is your opinion on boy/girl relationships?

K: As a parent of 4 kids, I try to remember what I went through in the past at that age to help them in their teenage phase. Teens always say their parents "don't understand", but this is not really the case..

Ask your parents about their teenage years and I’m sure they will share with you and may share some insight into their lives also.

D: ohh… =) So, can they have boy/girlfriends?

K: I do not encourage having these relationships while still in secondary school, because you don't know where you are yet (in the future, further study, work..).

And I don't believe in playing with other people's feelings, as it will end up everybody getting hurt. If you have any other questions, you can come ask me personally. =)

D: haha! i wonder if ppl will really come ask you.

K: That's why it is important to have a mentor, to give you advice and help you along. If it is me, I will start by asking some questions: Are you going to marry him/her? What are you expecting in love?

D: ohh..

K: Not questions to scare you, but to help you understand. You see, feelings of love don't hold the relationship. When you first fall in love, I see you, and I have this waaaarm feeling inside; we understand each other, I appreciate you, you appreciate me. Unfortunately these feelings won't last long, maybe it lasts for 1 year or slightly more, or might be only months or weeks..

The basis of a relationship is not in feelings, but based on communication and commitment.

When you are in love, learn how to communicate, how do you feel about certain things that are important to you. You will realise that there are many things that you see differently compared to your loved one.

And in a relationship, you are not only having a relationship with one person, you are also having a relationship with the whole family. When you marry someone, you marry his/her whole family.

So don't get into a relationship too early, come to God when you have problems. If two teens with problems have a relationship, it won't solve the problem, it makes a bigger problem.

D: yeah, I get what you mean. Couple-couple can get a couple more problems. It must have felt great to be with a special person, but you wait a bit longer the benefits are greater.

K: For those who are in secondary school, I will encourage them to build friendship, be true friends that will be there in troubles, even willing to sacrifice their sleep for others.

Do you know that my old friends in KL, if I call them urgently in the middle of night, they will come immediately to help me?

D: woah, real good friends.. you want to try calling them now? Haha.

K: =P Develop friendships, not relationships. :)

D: But how to stay at friendship only and not go overboard into a relationship?

K: Have some boundaries, need discipline. Cos now the disadvantage is there's internet, sms, can contact at all times, no more boundaries.

It still comes back to having a mentor/parent to guide you, this also helps in deciding what to study after SPM, go speak to the professionals in church; lawyers, engineers, accountants..

D: Oh.. alright, last question, any advice for teenagers who are interested in music?

K: First, you need to love music. Then pray to God that you can keep a tune (not tone deaf), and take private music lessons outside.

D: Yep, and never give up too. (thought of my past when I first started learning drums.. keep learning, never give up!) Any last words?

K: I used to hear this testimony from time to time from older adults who just received Christ and they said, "my only regret is that I didn't know Christ earlier".

But I don’t have to say this, because I have spent 27 years of my life dedicated to Jesus and I enjoy every moment of it. =)

Don't backslide (don't leave God), it is not worth it.

It's getting late, I took my last sip of Milo Ais, thanked him for 'belanja'-ing me the food, said the bye's and went home. =)

~END~

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